The worst movie I've ever seen.

A few months ago I decide to sit down and watch a movie that everyone raves about: Titanic. I got about 20 minutes, realized that life is short and this movie is NOT hot and proceeded to start watching My Little Pony. THAT is how bad it was. I watched MY LITTLE PONY (Review on that later.) Anyway last night I decided to watch it again, you know, give it a fighting chance. Half way through, the only thing that I could think was I REGRET THIS DECISION. But I persevered and made it to the end. So here is my review of Titanic.

A List of Things that Went Through My Head as I Watched It.

1. Why is that guy pouring champagne on everyone's head? Now they're all sticky and I'm pretty sure that there is a limited amount of water to take showers with on that ship.
2. That beard is straddling the line of cool and stalker creepy.
3. After really long intro, here we go....FLASH BACK.
4. I'm pretty sure that if someone actually went to the very front of the ship and shouted, "I'M KING OF THE WORLD" there would be multiple authority figures slamming him down.
5. Rose tries to kill herself why? Because she doesn't want to live with rich people. Why can't she just go to America, collect a secret stash of money, then run away BEFORE the wedding? Not KILL herself. THINK THINGS THROUGH.
6. Jack litters. 
7. Rose: "You're crazy."
   Jack: "That's what everybody says but, with all due respect, Miss, I'm not the one hanging off a back of a ship here.
   Me: "BURN."
8. Super cliche moment on the railing.
9. What is with Jack's hair after they fix him up?? It looks like Alfalfa's hair in the little rascals, except without the cowlick.
10. "That fire I love about you, Rose. That fire's gonna burn out." So supportive, dude, so supportive...
11. WHY ARE YOU ASKING HER TO GET ON THE RAIL? SHE ALMOST JUMPED OFF ONE A FEW DAYS AGO. ARE YOU SO ARROGANT THAT YOU THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE SHE MET YOU, SHE ISN'T GOING TO DO IT AGAIN??
12. That dude's wearing a Texas shirt. Hmmm....Explains the beard. Also, there was absolutely no reason for that f-bomb. None whatsoever.
13. How does no one walk in on them while he is drawing her? Also, naked, really?!?! I mean, you've know this guy for a few days and you want him to draw you NAKED?
14. CLOSING MY EYES NOW.
15. Rose: "You're shaking."
    Jack: "I'll get over it."
    Me: *barf*
16. Why did they stop and kiss when people were chasing them? It just show a complete lack of judgment.
17. SHE CLOSED HER EYES WHILE SWINGING AN AX AT JACK'S HANDS?!
18. If she hadn't jumped from the life boat, there is a good chance Jack would have found some way off the Titanic too. Thus making sure that they both live. But instead she jumps of because PLOT LINE.
19. "Jack. This is where we first met." Girl, you are going to DIE and you want to reminisce about meeting Jack. PRIORITIES.
20. There was enough room for two. I don't care how freaking romantic it is, this movie has no sense of reality.
21. They say each other's names WAY TOO MUCH. I can never name my children Jack or Rose now.
22. What is old Rose doing? Is she....? NO. STOP. DON'T THROW IT OVER. NO STOP. DON'T YOU DARE. YOU ALREADY MADE ENOUGH BAD DECISIONS. DON'T DO THIS TOO. DON'T AND SAY YOU DID.  OR GIVE IT TO ME. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
23. Her heaven really sucks. I mean how is it that it all surrounds Jack? Did she really never move on after that? She was 16 when it happened (I think) and she was 101 when she died. Did she really spend ALL that time pinning for Jack? She really NEVER moved on from a five day experience?
24. Stupid movie is stupid.

And there is my review of Titanic. I serious have no idea why so many teenage girls love this movie. The only way it makes me want to cry is because of how stupid it is.

Peace out peeps,

A Girl Against the World.